A Bond Beyond Years - Part 3
“Guilt from what?” I asked my sister. I was expecting something else. “When Aman was born, I was a career woman. You knew, right. I had a high-ranking position at B&D Inc. back then. I did not want to give it up. I even returned to work early from my maternity leave. I thought I took care of all his basic needs. You know, like fresh food, clean clothes, a good nanny and proper care….” Her voice choked up in between words. I could hear her sniff. I knew she was crying. I felt bad for her. “I am so sorry. I know you wanted to prove to everyone that you could make something of yourself. I don’t think that was wrong. But I had no idea it affected you so much.” “It wasn’t easy!” Her voice was upset. “Everything has tradeoffs, I guess.” “And, it did not help that Mahesh wasn’t willing to compromise on his career either.” She talked, still sniffling in between words, but her voice sounded better. “Anyway, I spent a lot of time away from Aman in his first 2 years. I did not think it was a big deal back then. But I guess I wasn’t there for him enough. To care for him as a mother, you know.” “How do you mean? And, why do you sound like a therapist!?” I couldn’t help but notice the uncanny similarities. I have had my fair share of experience with shrinks to know how they speak. It seemed like they all followed the same script. Sneha laughed out loud. It was the first time I heard her laugh since we started talking. It felt good. “That’s because I saw a therapist. At one point, I felt too depressed. You were going through a rough time back then, and I desperately needed to talk to someone. That’s when I realized I wasn’t there for him enough. Spending that time together would have helped him bond with me better.” “It must have been crazy if you decided to walk into a therapist’s office. You were the level headed between both of us.” Sneha laughed again. “Everyone has their breaking point.” “Honestly, it’s not the worst thing you can do.” I laughed at my silly joke. “Did it help?” “No! All they do is talk you to death about a bunch of coping skills and pretty much say you just have to live with it.” It was my turn to laugh out loud. “You’ve nailed it in one sentence. That’s exactly what they do!” Sneha laughed with me. “So, in the end, that did not help. I even got Aman into counselling to help him cope better with stress in life. It helped to a certain extent. Beyond that, it felt like a waste of time and money.” “Oh, wow!” I did not know about all this. “Ever since I started comforting him by letting him… suck on my breasts, his temper tantrums got a little better.” I listened with growing interest. Eager to know what happened next. “Whenever he sucked, he would… rub his thing on my thighs. I could feel it was hard and that he was struggling for release. People might say I should have been strict with him and all that, but I couldn’t.” “He told me he’s having a hard time with it. He asked me to help him, and I couldn’t say no. So finally, I asked him to take it out and helped him masturbate. That became our little routine. He would suckle at my breasts, and I would jerk him off until he came.” I was being hit with another wave of arousal. I crossed my legs and pressed harder. All the explicit details weren’t helping, but I wanted to hear more. “What happened after that?” “It was slow progress, but it helped him. As I spent more time bonding with him like that, he seemed to gain more confidence. He seemed surer of himself. His test scores got better. He’s still a bit of an introvert, but I think that’s just who he is. He can have decent conversations with people. It was a night and day difference compared to before.” She sounded happy as she said those words. “Wow! I honestly don’t know what to say.” I was rattled. I did not expect to hear that. Yet my stupid mind wanted to go back to the same question. “Is this the only way, though?” I asked her in a small voice. Sneha sighed. “I don’t know if there are any other better ways. All I know is that this is helping him, and that’s good enough for me when he calls his mommy .” I wanted to keep talking, but my brother-in-law came home, and she had to finish up the call. “I have to go, Shilu. I am glad we got to talk. Mahesh is travelling for work next week. Maybe, you can come over and stay? If you feel comfortable, that is. I don’t want to force you.” I wanted to go and stay so we could talk more, but I did not want to sound too eager. “Let me check with my friends and get back to you.” I was plain lying. I had no plans for the whole damn month. “Sure, whatever works for you. I hope you can come. Let me know.” We ended the call with a quick goodbye. I settled back into the couch and let my mind drift. I thought about how things went from outright shock, feelings of betrayal and then to rationality. But I felt better after speaking with her. The conversation replayed in my head. While I was doing that, I recalled the images of my naked sister and nephew getting intimate. Once again, my hands itched to pleasure my body. I decided to give in. Everyone else is having fun. Why shouldn’t I! My hands moved to my breasts, and my fingers circled over my nipples, poking through the top. My body tingled in response. The intensity was much greater than before. Clearly the effect of all the erotic talk. Goosebumps rippled through my skin. The warmth came back to my lady parts ten-fold. I need something to help me. I placed a cushion in between my legs and rubbed myself on it. I could feel the fire rising inside me. I held my nipples with my fingers and pinched them. I gasped and let out a soft moan, ‘Ahh!’ They were so tender! I lifted my top and pressed my breasts over my soft bra. My body moved up and down.