A middle-class Indian wife and the stranger's gaze
Hello all, Bhanu from Bangalore. I am 40 years old and married. I work in a private company in Bangalore. I wanted to share my real incident with you all in this portal. I belong to a middle-class family. My life is about the serious checkboxes without any sex. I wake up at 5:00 in the morning. By 5:30 am, I have my Filter coffee, followed by breakfast. At 6:30 am, I cook lunch and pack the tiffin for the kid and husband. And by 7:00 am, I have to step out into the streets of Bangalore and take the air of the city to catch the local bus. For me, it’s been over 10+ years of marriage, and it’s a routine life for me. I don’t find anything new in my morning. It was the same for me. It’s like a blue sky, busy shoulders, and the endless rush of office work and house chores. With that routine, I don’t have any expectations for my life. My husband and I work to support our kid and our retirement, like a middle-class family. I leave home by 7 in the morning and reach home by 8 at night. For ten years of my marriage, it’s become a well-oiled machine that lacked any oil. There was no intimacy between hubby and me due to our lifestyle. My hubby lost interest in sex and became a proper middle-class husband who tracks the expenses on a daily basis. He forgot that, once he was a man, now a person who snored on the other side of a king-sized bed. I feel like just a roommate in my life. I used to be the woman who used to blush at a compliment. Now that was buried under lots of laundry and office spreadsheets. But one day, I was walking through the street at around 7 am, and I saw a person on the road. He was coming from the gym. His workout bag slung casually at his side, but his eyes stayed fixed on me. Our eyes met for the first time. I looked away like any other woman does. But the next day, he was there again, the stranger on the street. The next day also, he was there again, and it continued. It became a ritual for me. At 7:00 am, his gaze would lock onto me. My heart would be beating like a trapped bird in a cage when he gazes at me. Slowly, it wasn’t the fleeting glance of a stranger. It was a heavy and deliberate stare from him. Uff! That Idiot, day by day, he didn’t look at my face. His eyes travel slowly from my boobs and outline the curves hidden beneath my cotton saree or formal dress. His gaze was steady and strong on my personal parts. After a year, his gaze made me feel something I hadn’t been feeling for a long time. My heart beat faster whenever I saw him on the street. I always put my chin down. My eyes were fixed on the cement- titled pavement. But still, I could feel his presence like a physical heat on my skin as I passed him on the road. Later, I saw him daily when I returned from the office to my home on the street. When he gazes at me, I forcefully stop, blushing on the road. I no longer felt like a 40-year-old mother and a loyal wife. My nipples became hard against my bra. My panties became wet when I passed him on the road in the evening. That day, I was in a rush to reach home. I rushed because I quickly wanted to remove my clothes and think about him. I don’t know his name, but I wanted him. His direct gaze on my boobs and pussy made my heart beat against my ribs. His gaze was more intense day by day. My private parts became hungry for sex, which had buried years ago. I was not thinking about my to-do list. I was imagining his penis size, stamina, and how he might kiss me on the bed. I was thinking of him on the bed without any shame. He was not tall and not muscular like my hubby, but I loved his gaze on my private parts. It was the monsoon season in Bangalore. The sky turned dark that night. I just finished dinner and was ready for sleep. But the heavy rain smashed against the windows of my bedroom. It was raining heavily. But my middle-class hubby was already asleep. His steady, loud snoring was filling the room. The sound of snoring was heavy, and I felt lonely at that time. Hubby was sleeping peacefully without any romantic feelings. I wanted him to kiss and love me. The rain was beautiful, and our bedroom was cold. I wanted my husband to use me as his bedsheet. I was romantic and was carving for a sex. But hubby wanted to sleep and did not bother about my sexual feelings. I was feeling lonely. And his heavy snoring disturbed me enough to leave the bedroom. But the air was thick with the scent of wet earth and ozone. I was watching the shadows of tree branches move my thin fingers across my balcony wall. My mood changed like slipping into another world. The smell of the rain was good. The air was heavy, charged with the strange energy that made me feel the gym guy. I imagined him standing there in the rain and proposing to me in the rain. His shirt was clinging to his chest, and his eyes were burning through the dark in my imagination. I felt a sudden, high ache between my legs. A hunger that had been blocked for too long for me. My cheeks became red, and I went back to bed. My nightdress felt heavy on my body. I wanted my gym person to remove my nightdress and play with my boobs. I trembled with a rush of desire that I hadn’t felt in many years. I began with a strong feeling. The powerful sense of being wanted fully and completely before I fell asleep. I was in a deep sleep. And in my dreams, he stood close to me with his gym bag. He was smiling and was saying my name. I was feeling shy when he called me ‘Bhanu’. He reached out to me in a quick time. In the dream, there was no snoring husband. There was only the dim and golden light of the room that smelled like him. The stranger took his strides towards me. I was on the bed. He reached out to me. He kissed my earlobes and whispered my name in my dreams. The sound of my name on his lips felt like a caress. Slowly, he moved his hand on my forehead, nose, and lips. Aww! The wait was over in my dream.